What is a first look?

A first look is pretty much what it sounds like—it’s the first time a bride and a groom see each other on their wedding day. Traditionally, they don’t see each other until the bride walks down the aisle, but first looks are now extremely common!

Why should I have one on my wedding day?

Having a first look is great for a couple of reasons.

The first is, of course, for more photo/video time. Especially in the winter when days are short, it’s so nice to be able to get some photos done before the ceremony so we don’t run out of light. This also frees up your time after the ceremony to spend more time with your guests without worrying quite so much about having that time blocked off for portraits.

Another reason is to calm the nerves. I’ve seen very nervous brides and grooms. Whether it’s nerves about making the commitment of marriage or nerves of standing in front of 100 people, being a bride/groom can be stressful. By seeing each other before the ceremony, you can relieve a lot of those feelings and make the rest of the day easier!

Here are two sample wedding day timelines, one with and one without the first look:

WITHOUT FIRST LOOK
(summer wedding)

1:30 Girls getting ready

2:30 Guys getting ready

3:00 Separate bridal party photos

4:00 Hide before ceremony

4:30 Ceremony

5:00 Family photos

5:00 Cocktail hour

5:20 Full Bridal Party Photos

5:40 Bride & Groom portraits

6:15 Grand entrance/Reception begins

6:50 Whisk away for romantic portraits

7:30 Sunset

Remaining reception events (dinner, cake cutting, first dances, etc.)

WITH FIRST LOOK
(summer wedding)

1:00 Girls getting ready

2:00 Guys getting ready

2:30 First look & portraits

3:00 Full bridal party photos

3:30 Immediate family photos

4:00 Hide before ceremony

4:30 Ceremony

5:00 Family photos (with extended family not there before ceremony, so this is quick)

5:00 Cocktail hour

6:15 Grand entrance/Reception begins

6:50 Whisk away for romantic portraits

7:30 Sunset

Remaining reception events (dinner, cake cutting, first dances, etc.)

As you can see, with a first look allows everyone to be able to attend cocktail hour and mingle with the guests. Really, you could use this extra hour for whatever you want! More portraits, time alone together. It’s totally flexible! These are also summer wedding timelines, whereas a winter timeline may have sunset at 4:00 (this was the case at my wedding; we did ALL photos before ceremony, then ceremony was at 4:00 and it was completely dark out by the time we got out of the chapel).

What are some ways to do a first look?

Tap on the shoulder

This is probably the most popular way to do a first look. The groom is turned around while the bride walks up behind him, taps him on the shoulder, and he turns around to see her. The drawback of this version is that the bride is seeing the groom already! That’s a little unfair, no? To some people, this may also seem like a cheesy way to do it.

Walk towards each other

This is what I did at my wedding! We turned around the corner to see each other at the same time, and we walked and met each other in the middle. A possible drawback of this method is that it’s hard to set up a solid photo of it since both of you are moving. This is a drawback if first look photos are important for you. However, these photos weren’t particularly important to me, and I cared more about the portraits, so I liked this method.

Are there alternatives to a first look?

First touch

If you don’t want to see each other but want to lift some of the nerves, you can do a “first touch,” which is being next to each other, sometimes back-to-back or around a pillar/corner from each other, holding hands. If you have private vows or letters you’re exchanging, this is a great time to read them, either to yourself or out loud to your spouse!

Other first look tips

If you’re a little torn about doing a first look, there are a couple things you can do to compromise. Something I often recommend is to not wear your veil or carry your flowers for the first look. This way, your bridal look will be a little more special again when he sees you walking down the aisle. The downside of this, of course, is that you won’t have the full look for those bride & groom portraits, so this is something to really consider if you’re doing the first look in order to get all the photos out of the way before the ceremony. (P.S. not wearing the veil for the first look is also nice because you don’t have to worry about it tugging when you two hug, and your hands will be free without the bouquet!!)

To sum up

To decide whether a first look is right for you, there are a couple of questions you should ask yourself. First of all, what is important to you? Is it photos? Is it being able to attend your cocktail hour? Is it holding true to traditions? A lot of people will choose one way or another because they think it’s what they’re “supposed” to do. But if 2020 taught us one thing when it comes to weddings, it’s “screw the norm” and do what YOU want to do!!

I hope this post has helped you understand everything when it comes to first looks. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to learn more about how to navigate this part of your wedding day!

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